I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
