I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
