I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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