Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
soo... how was my night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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