Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she looked like the before picture.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
