Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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