I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize