She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
