just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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