You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
