do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
