Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
