I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
