yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Its about making memories worth repressing
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
