It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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