maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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