Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
