So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
