It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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