By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize