sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
