doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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