I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
