I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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