After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
