This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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