We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
