My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
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He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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