The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
