the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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