My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
