You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
we should paint friendship bongs
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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