I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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