Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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