Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
