Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize