I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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