People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
