She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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