so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize