he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
