3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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