i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
