I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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