so let's talk penis.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
false alarm, still single
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
