can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
