i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
