I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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