i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
