i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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