so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
