is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
