when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
