I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
