No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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