Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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