no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
