well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
