Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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